Thursday, April 28, 2011

There are things I don't say either...

I was going through the comments on this  post and realized I have been thinking about things that I don't say too... So here's a post minus the photos to do some thinking of your own...

I have never said this, but a few days back, I was accused of not being integral... I was a part of a group and I was not able to fulfill my commitment for some reasons... I informed the caretaker at the moment I knew I would not be able to keep my word... I did so for the numerous of my other swaps too... Luckily my issues were sorted sooner than I expected and I went back to my swaps... Meanwhile, in this particular group, the caretaker had already taken on the responsibility and finished the items for the others... I decided to leave things as they were and send them a surprise gift instead... I did so, and because I wanted it to be a surprise, I did not inform anyone of them... 

I was still working out a lot of things at that moment (things were settling back - not settled back)... And I did not contact any of the group members for a while... A spam attack on my Flickr account (I could not work out how it happened but it stopped once I informed the admins) had me receiving hundreds of FMs every day... And I did not go through them... Honestly, by the time I got back to Flickr so much had happened in all the groups that it was kind of overwhelming... I never actually realized that my fellow members had sent me well wishes that uunfortunately I had left unanswered...

After a few weeks, the caretaker accused me of getting sponsors, my first pattern out and a new blog and endeavoring to make a name for myself. However, integrity is very important and people are upset and feel duped and that I just didn't care enough to finish my commitment.

This was totally unexpected as it had only been a week since I had started working on things and she had taken care of the group a lot before that...  I do not think I needed to give her an explanation, but I did that anyway to which she never bothered to reply. I felt humiliated. I had never intended to dupe anyone. If I wanted to, I'd never have informed her in the first place. I believe in honoring my word and will do anything for it... I can say confidently that none of my swap partners or my Etsy customers have been duped - either in quantity or in quality!

The whole episode was so upsetting... I felt bad that I had pursued people for 6 months for sponsorship and then got my first few sponsors... I felt bad that I had spent a month making a quilt and writing a pattern for it...  I felt bad that people were coming to read my blog because the liked me... I felt bad that just because she had taken care of my group, I had not put my personal problems aside and made the stuff for my partners... I felt bad that I had tried my best not to let my partners down in my other swaps... I felt bad about starting quilting... 

I was angry for quite some time... But then I decided to put it all behind my back and move on... I know I have always been honest with my commitments and that is all that matters to me...

Apart from this`experience I have never ever received a negative treatment from the Online quilting community... Infact, people have welcomed a newbie like me with open arms... Infact the first few months are the most memorable ones... When I started quilting, I was awed by the beauty of it and I was lucky enough to find a mentor in Elizabeth Hartman... I read all through her archives and practically learnt from it... I had a lot of questions which, in spite of her busy schedule, she patiently answered... I will never forget the helping hand that she extended to me in that time... I could say that she was my inspiration, she still is... It was so wonderful of her to help an unknown person stumbling with the basics of quilting who lives practically on the other side of the globe... I have been trying to do that ever since... I try my best to be available to my readers... I might not reply on a comment that you've left for a giveaway, but yeah, I do try to reply to most of the comments on my other posts...

Also, I have had a great response and support, not to forget encouragement, from the entire Blogger and Flickr community and I intend to enjoy my next month with all you guys in the Bella Parade...

Oops! This has become a super long post and I must thank you for
listening me out...

PS. Did I ever tell you that I have never understood all the craze about the latest DS prints? Not that I dont like them, but I find a few other fabrics a lot more appealing than these...



  1. It sounds like a not very nice experience Shruti. Im sorry you've had to deal with that. I think that's one of the less positive things about the internet - it gives people the opportunity to misunderstand one another far more easily.

    Move on - let it go.You know the truth and it doesn't sound like the other person is interested in forgiving.

  2. I agree with Shay. Sometimes we have to recognize there is no pleasing some people because they simply don't have a desire to truly understand. We understand and enjoy your presence so please push forward and enjoy the process.

  3. I've recently read a lot of negativity out in blog land recently. People turned down for charity groups because their "style" isn't the right one, posts about a blogger who shared her feelings/opinions about quilting and being put down for her opinion, and you - your explanation was deemed unacceptable. I can't help but think that we all will experience a time in our life where we will hope that someone accepts our explanation, values our differences (whether they be in style or opinion), or just simply understands. What has happened to treating others as we would wish to be treated?

  4. Sorry to hear about your bad experience. I agree that there are so many great things about the internet connecting us with each other, but the method of communication means that we are 'disconnected' in many ways from really knowing what is going on in others lives.
    You are right to keep focusing on the positives and forge ahead with sharing your passion with others now. Good luck!

  5. It is sad that you were treated so rudely. We all try to keep our blogs positive and don't talk about the struggles we all have from time to time, I guess sometimes we forget that there is more to each other than what is writen in our blogs.

  6. It's always easier to be cruel to someone when you don't have to see them face to face. The internet is a wonderful place. You can connect to quilters (and normal people as well) all over the world in an instant. It also allows you to harm a person's reputation and ignore them just as quickly without having to face the hurt you have caused.

    I'm sorry you were treated so callously, but hopefully those who follow your blog and interact with you in swaps appreciate the honest and decent person you are.

    Congratulations on your sponsors and your new pattern. You have certainly earned your success.

    On a side note, my daughter's best friend at college is Shrutika. Her nickname is Tika. Is Shruti short for Shrutika?

  7. Thanks for sharing the experience -- obviously very painful. I enjoy your blog and that's why I visit.

  8. Glad you said it and it was well said! I hope whoever treated you with disregard for your personal life has read your post and is feeling embarrassed herself!

  9. As we age (I'm in my 60's,) there are certain truths that become self evident. One of those is this: don't waste your time with negative, nasty toxic energy from another person. Apologize for whatever may or may not have occured, make a note to yourself to communicate in a positive way in the future and then cut her out of your life. Life is too darn short.

  10. I love Liz's comments! I view blogs as gifts - you spend your time and energy sharing with us, and also give us a place to visit with other quilters, and that is really no SMALL gift! I like to think of quilters as inclusive, not exclusive. I too am sorry that you had such a negative experience, but glad that you were able to move beyond it!

  11. Shruti - that person is just that: one person. I know it is very difficult to put aside hurtful accusations and comments, especially when they are not true, but I hope that you can.

    You have every right to pursue sponsors and try to make a name for yourself if that's what you want to do! Why not?

    I am really looking forward to May because your program is incredibly original and I think it will be super fun.

  12. I'm so surprised by that! I have been so impressed seeing your birth as a businesswoman and designer and blogger!
    I do know that sometimes it is so easy to read posts the wrong way because tone of voice and expression is not conveyed (hence I am a horrible abuser of the exclamation point and emoticons! Lol! :)
    Keep up the good work!
    Clearly more of us are behind you than not.

  13. Negativity seems to be everywhere these days and people are happy to voice it. It does sound like there may have been a little jealousy involved also. You tried and oh well.
    I'm glad you said that about the DS prints, everywhere I turn people are in singing their surprise and praises. They just aren't my thing I guess.

  14. You know who you are and what you do. You can not control what others do and how they think. People aften take their negative feelings out on others. You took responsibility! You did what you needed to. Keep trucking! Im in awe and envy of what you have acomplished!


Thank you for your comments... I try to reply to all of them personally, but sometimes life is just too fast to do that... But I love hearing from you...